SANTA CLAUS

SANTA CLAUS

I have to confess that I love the Pagan tradition that has existed for centuries now, of getting a tree in December, having it in my home and decorating it with hundreds of ornaments that I have been collecting throughout the years, while listening to Christmas carols and  sipping a hot chocolate with marshmallows!

My confession cannot end there, as I also belong to the group of people who falls for consumerism during that time of year, and buys too many gifts. Not only that, but I also take time to get the perfect gift for each member of my family or friends, - I personally wrap and send most of them. I enjoy the process from beginning to end. Furthermore, I  love the vacation that comes with the whole festivity, it is a great way to end another year.

I do have a concern though; as much as I am fond of the idea of Santa Claus, and I believe it is a very nice tradition, I have a problem when I think about how children believe in this idea of him. Especially how some adults would do anything to make them believe it is real!  I realize some adults justify telling children this “white lie” with the excuse of giving them the joy of believing in the Christmas spirit and the figure of “Santa Claus” has now become a part of it. In my opinion, a white lie is still a lie.

Is this tradition good for our children? Do children get hurt when the people they trust are the first ones that lie to them, even if it is a white lie? Why do we lie to our children? In this case, all adults know Santa Claus doesn’t exist so what makes us continue with this lie from generation to generation? Have you ever stop to think if this can really hurt children?

It may seem like something of no consequence, after all, most people who practice this tradition don’t seem to think twice about the fact that it is not real. Actually most people that I have talked to say something like this: “let children be children and believe in magic, don’t take away their innocence”.

I am in no hurry to take away their innocence; in fact it is the opposite. I believe the more honest and truthful we are with children, this will provide them with a safe environment that they can always trust. Trust creates more self-esteem and the more self-esteem they have will help them to have a better life.

Wouldn’t you like children from all over the world to have a happy life? Of course you do! I do too; I care about children, all of them, which includes all the grownups that were once a child as well. Caring about someone can’t include being dishonest with them.

I don’t like lies. To me this whole thing about Santa Claus is very personal and a big deal, since this adorable tradition -of that man that lives in the North Pole, dressed on a red suit, that knows everything about every child on the planet, that will bring toys if you   behaved well, on his sleigh pulled by flying reindeers, led by Rudolph the red nose reindeer- actually destroyed my belief in my parents!

When I discovered that Santa Claus wasn’t real, I was absolutely crushed! I am not sure which was worst; Santa Claus not being real or that my parents had lied to me for so long.

I don’t believe that they did it to hurt me. Actually, I know my parents had very good intentions and where only trying to perpetuate this tradition that so many children love, they loved writing their letters to Santa Claus, and where extremely excited when they got their gifts on Christmas year after year. I heard stories about it and even have the sweetest letter to Santa Claus written by my father, which he wrote in 1947!

So what was different about me than the other children? Why did I take it so personal when I found out that it was a lie? I trusted my parents. To me, it was the biggest lie ever told. I didn’t felt any pride on the discovery, it really hurt, and something broke inside of me!

I am convinced now that it is impossible to encourage this belief without dishonesty. The truth is, a lie is a lie. You are lying to your children! If you lie about Santa Claus being real from the beginning, you will have to keep lying, be convincing about it and as the children grow you will have to come up with more elaborated lies, for years until they find out the truth.

Try not to get angry because of what I am writing, just think about it!

I know this is a very old tradition and this in itself gives enough reason to keep doing it, but is it really necessary? Children are smart you know? They will find out eventually! Do you have any idea how every little thing impacts each child? What if you could celebrate any tradition, not just this one but anyone, just for the fun of it and without having to lie?

I have lied before and I know there have been many times! I ask my self now, how did I started with my first lie when I was around 5 years old and then the next and the next… Is it possible that it was because my parents where doing it? If it was fine for them and other adults to lie, why not me?

As an adult I realize that a lie is wrong and I don’t want to keep doing that in any way. I am personally committed to be truthful to myself as well as anybody else! I believe that a lie can destroy a lot of value. Once you lied you can never take it back. You can be sorry and ask for forgiveness but it doesn’t change the fact that you did lie!

This seems to be no longer about Santa Claus but the fact that in order to preserve the illusion there has to be many lies involved…

In the end I wonder who’s right and who’s wrong? Is it just harmless fun or could it maybe hurt children when they finally find out is not true?

This is a picture from one of our Christmas with Santa Claus in our home! (Yes, that Santa Claus is my dad, the little girl next to him is me - I am getting my presents and my Mom is sitting holding my sister in her arms watching the whole thing.)

~Vany Huber~

NEPANTLA

            NEPANTLA

Growing up in Mexico, more than three decades ago, things were very different than now! Time seemed to pass by much slower, and life was interesting yet simple and fun. I was always surrounded by people, as is customary in Mexican culture to spend your time with family, extended family and friends all the time, that was true for me, as I can’t remember a single day when I was left on my own during those years!

As if that was not enough, my parents hired another person to take care of my sister and me. Fortunately she was an amazing human being, her name was Rufina, I have no idea in which part of Mexico she was born or how her family was like but I do remember that she spoke Spanish and Nahuatl, and she not only spoke to me very often in Nahuatl but also sang to me in that beautiful language. I loved the sound of it, I wish now I could remember the words. I forgot almost all of it although I still remember a few like “Noconeuh”, Rufina will call me that all the time, and she would do it in such a loving way - when I asked her what it meant she said: My child!

Yes I was her child in a way, she took care of me for a few years and I loved her! There was something different about her; she understood what I was feeling. Whenever I was frustrated or scared, I would cry or yell and she would calm me down by holding me in her arms and repeating again and again “Matca” She repeated Matca-noconeuh until I slowly gave up the fight (against myself I should say)

 For many years I thought “Matca” meant “you are safe” but recently I discovered it actually meant “gently-slowly-peacefully” which was exactly what I didn’t have at that moment, inner peace! (The truth is, I still don’t have inner peace, I am always trying to get it from the outside world, and it has been my biggest struggle) This makes me wonder if it was possible that she could identify exactly what was going on with me, even at that early age? Did she have some Aztec divine powers or was she just trying to teach me how to calm my inner-storm? Was I born with that inner struggle? Do we all come to this world already with our issues? Is that why we are here on the planet, to figure them out?

If I look back to the memories I have, I always find that Rufina was calming me down. She also told me a story about “outside and inside” and then she would explain to me how we all are in both places at the same time and Rufina called it “Nepantla”. I don’t remember the whole story but it was about a [Flower that came from the sky to earth as a seed, and the process it had to learn, to get strong and prepared inside the earth, before it could come out to the surface and experience the challenges and joys that life brings. Then after learning the lesson of life, it would have to return to the universe as dust] this was her explanation of Nepantla. I thought this was just another story but I get it now, we are all that flower. We are all here to find our purpose by experiencing everything, while in this journey through life which is the In Between. We live in Nepantla?

Unfortunately this is as far as my Nahuatl vocabulary goes because I don’t remember anything else, however, these three words have impacted my life in a way that I didn’t understand or realized until now. The term that Rufina used all the time, Nepantla is real, it comes from the Nahuatl Language (from the Aztecs) and it means in between.

Have you ever felt in between (Nepantla), as Rufina used it in that metaphor I realize I can apply it to everything, like in between jobs because they are going to fire you or you just got a better offer, moving to a different house or country, dealing with the death of a loved one or ending a long time relationship,  even starting a new one and you feel completely lost? That moment when you can’t concentrate, when you don’t know what to order from the menu, when you are not sure which clothes or car to buy, if you want to get married or learn a different Language. Whatever it is for you, every decision that we make, when we are about to choose, we are in “Nepantla” we are in between. So welcome to my world!

It amazes me that after all the years that have passed I recognize now that I've always felt in Between (Nepantla) no matter what I do and probably because of that, I can’t find inner peace (Matca) so I try to get it constantly from the exterior world. As I said before, this has been my struggle all along. I will ask you again, do you think we all born with our own struggle? Could it be that this information or knowledge is already in each of the atoms in the human body?

Assuming that this is true for everybody and that we do have this information engrained in each being even before we are born, that would mean that we already have all the ingredients for life it self and that we all are part of this universe from beginning to end, if it ends…

The universe is so vast but it is also inside of us and even if we might seem small, we are not, because we are all connected. We are home. Our planet is our home, for you and for me. We are alive and that itself is a miracle.

So why do I still have that “Nepantla” feeling? How come I feel this void inside of me? Will this in between feeling ever go away? Rufina knew something about me since that early age that my own family didn’t know. I didn’t know! I am not sure if that was part of the Aztec heritage or the sweetness of the “Nahuatl” language, but she knew, and she talked to me about it in her own way. Could it be that she was paying more attention to me? Or was it because she spent more time with me than anybody else? Was she a natural educator? Was she more connected to her caring, loving nurturing side? Why? How could she have that information that I am starting to understand at almost 40 years old?

I wonder…

I am certainly not a kid anymore but she taught me well, so now I feel the responsibility for the next generations to come, even if I am still not a parent!

Doesn’t this make you wonder how important it is who takes care of our children? What happens when we go to work or the gym and live them at home or school, with a nanny, teacher, friends or relatives? What if every word or action could alter his or her future forever? Would you do something different if you knew this could affect for better or worse the life of a child?

Choose wisely for your children while they are still young and unable to do it for themselves!

I wish Rufina was here today, so that I could tell her how much I love her! Rufi wherever you are, I hope Life treats you well, and I thank you, for every loving word and moment you gave me when I was a little girl. You are not forgotten!

~Vany Huber~ 

Special thanks to Stephanie Chernitzky for her help with this Blog! Follow her on twitter: @stephchernitzky

Welcome to Vany huber's Blog

These days’ writing a Blog seems to be a very common thing to do. 

I thought about it and decided I could give it a try even if I will be writing in English which is not my first language. I am sure it will be a challenge but I am up for it considering this is a great learning experience in many different ways.

This will be a personal Blog with my own reflections of life.  I take pride on my effort of writing it (even though I don’t really know if anyone other than me would be reading it) anyway it will be open for anyone to write back and give me feedback but know that I will consider eliminating anonymous or disturbing comments as I am aware of some legal consequences that have happen to other people who blog.

So.. If you happen to read it,  I welcome you to my Blog with this quote that has inspired me for many years now:

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it!"

~Hellen Keller



ENJOY!